The Very Secret Diary Of Shadowfax
by magnetic-starfish
Summary: Shadowfax keeps a diary through the fellowship involving a grubby wizard.


This is the product of higher chemistry classes, I wrote this after I read the very secret diaries of Cassandra Claire which there is a link to in my profile!  
  
I recommend that you read them if you want to get all the jokes as they are related! They are well worth the read!  
  
I only own this diary not the characters to which they refer, unfortunately. I am only borrowing the concept. Anyway...no more delay, here it is:  
  
The Very Secret Diary of Shadowfax  
  
Day one  
  
Am v. bored. Also too pretty even for king. Spotted sexy shield maiden again today, she was wearing white. How she keeps herself clean in this hovel, I don't know.  
  
Day two  
  
Theoden tried to mount me again. V. tiresome. Keep telling him that I am a free sprit and won't be tied down with silly commitments. Plus still too pretty!  
  
Day five  
  
I think I pissed the king off, he hasn't visited me for ages! Must have realised that I am too pretty for him!  
  
Day six  
  
Bored again so answered an ad in the middle earth gazette. It went like this:  
  
Tall, handsome wizard WLTM four legged companion for fun fast friendship, travel and adventure. Likes speed and loyalty.  
  
I hope it goes well, I need a wizard to complete my accessories. Still pretty.  
  
Day eight  
  
Severely pissed off! Ad arrived. Is a grubby grey wizard with a peculiar pointy hat. Doesn't accessorise with me at all. I'm a summer and he's most definitely an autumn. Gah! Mustn't mope too much, will dent my prettiness.  
  
Day ten  
  
Have been kidnapped! Grubby wizard stole me away from wizard and sexy shield maiden who I'm convinced was going to ride me any day soon.! Alas!!  
  
Day thirteen  
  
Have been galloping for ages with ugly being on my perfect back. Am trying to devise a plan to be rid of him. He tried to placate me with the idea of meeting the elves, who are at least on a par of prettiness with me. It's not working! He is ruining my image!  
  
Day fourteen  
  
Went through the land of tree men. Am quite impressed. They are cleaner than the filthy wizard.  
  
Day fifteen  
  
Am not convinced I'm the prettiest any more. Am getting depressed!  
  
Day sixteen  
  
Delivered wizard to tall tower. Saw another wizard who at least accessorised with me. Lovely white robes matched my coat but he had ugly bushy caterpillars above his eyes. Yuck! Am leaving for elf land early, don't think wizard shall mind.  
  
Day twenty-two  
  
Apparently wizard minded. Got stuck by white wizard on tower. Am unsurprised, told him not to trust someone who associates with caterpillars.  
  
Day twenty-four  
  
Have decided to stay with elves for a while. Am treated with luxury, although strawberry bath foam and carrots are all gone. Am quite perturbed although not too much as am pretty again, yay!  
  
Day twenty-five  
  
Was wandering in the garden looking for carrots when came across grubby one and his herd. Quite taken by blonde elf with silver cloak. Would accessorise well, we're both summers! Will look into acquiring him!  
  
Day twenty- seven  
  
Came across carrot thief. Is small hairy creature in breeches. Is probably grubby ones minion. Will try to attain carrots!  
  
Day twenty-eight  
  
Finally got rid of the grubby one. Gave him ultimatum, said get matching outfit or else! He got all pissy about it and went away to deposit small creatures into volcano. Is taking elf with him, must follow!  
  
Day twenty-nine  
  
Strange behaviour among grubby ones herd. Blond elf thinks he is the prettiest. Not likely. Is obviously me!  
  
Day thirty  
  
V. strange behaviour in herd. Grubby one did odd trick with pointy hat. Am mentally damaged now.  
  
Day thirty-one  
  
Went up Cadharas. Got v. bored! Blond elf accessory walked on white stuff. Am mildly impressed. Must acquire ASAP!!  
  
Day thirty-two  
  
Grubby and herd disappeared into mine. Is far to dirty to even consider following. Lost elf to Grubby, am distraught! Now following the pony they left behind. Is mildly attractive! Am I becoming a pony pervert??  
  
Day thirty-three  
  
Am pony pervert. cough  
  
Day forty  
  
Pony told me much! Going to graze now.  
  
Day fifty  
  
Apparently grubby one fallen into shadow with fiery ex. Knew bad end would come to that one. That hat trick was too indecent!  
  
Day fifty-one  
  
Grazing aimlessly. 


End file.
